


I Thought Heaven Might Have Been a Cadillac

by colisahotnorthernmess



Category: British TV Celebrities RPF, Wheeler Dealers RPF
Genre: Arguing, Blow Jobs, Car Sex, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Neck Kissing, Post-Coital Cuddling, Sex in a Car, Undressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15793809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colisahotnorthernmess/pseuds/colisahotnorthernmess
Summary: When Mike gives Edd free rein to spray their Lincoln Continental whatever colour he likes, he fears he would paint it orange when he thinks back to other wacky paint choices he's made in the past. Edd's insulted that Mike thinks he would ruin their beautiful American classic and tries to extort an, ahem, 'apology' out of him upon finding a quiet spot in the country and reclining the seats of the Continental.





	I Thought Heaven Might Have Been a Cadillac

"I think _somebody_ owes me an apology," Edd said, not taking his eyes off the road, lovingly caressing the beautiful, moulded steering wheel of their freshly restored US goliath - the Lincoln Continental - as if it was his own. Well, it _was_ , for the moment - at least until they sold it on.

"What?" came the reply.

"You were _convinced_ that I'd gone and painted it orange. As if I'd do such a thing to such a classy motor."

"Ford Escort?" Mike glared at him. He remembered an earlier time when he had given Edd free rein over what colour they would respray one of their projects. Brewer had _suggested_ , or perhaps putting that more accurately, _told_ China it should be revamped in much the same colour as it had been before - a colour which Edd had so eloquently labelled 'poo brown'. It then came back from the paint shop looking like a giant bumble bee - bright yellow with the popular rally-style fog-lamps bolted to the front. Thankfully, and to his surprise, it seemed to be a look that the punters actually _liked_.

"Different kettle of fish," he responded, "Anyway, that was _yellow_. It suited the car. And your buyer thought the same. But, _knowing_ what a fan you were of that bronze colour, I thought I would treat you to something similar this time. So... apology?"

"Yeah..." Mike mumbled.

He was still annoyed with Edd, as his thoughts remained firmly with the Escort debacle. True, the buyer who finally ended up purchasing the car was particularly taken with the colour - and, better still, he paid good money for it. But Edd could be a rebellious little sod with his decisions and Mike didn't know, sometimes, whether that irritated him or _enthralled_ him.

Something did change between himself and the tall man that day; there was something about the way he had unveiled the car to him, something over-familiar about the manner in which he had blindfolded him with his hands and guided him slowly but surely into the workshop, and something about the _feel_ of China's arms wrapped so tightly around him and the warmth and weight of his body _imposed_ upon him as they walked in together. The whole spectacle had been intentional, he went on to realise in time.

Brewer shuddered slightly, memories of this - the first time they had ever truly experienced such a _closeness -_ filtering into his mind. He shifted uncomfortably within his seat, arousal taking a hold of him as his thoughts drifted back to their first time of being intimate with one other, when the sexual tension following that incident for _years_ afterwards eventually bubbled over and resulted in a flurry of handprints pressed against the rear windows of his car, outlined in the condensation caused by their heavy breathing, marking the glass as the younger man had pushed him down onto the back seat in a lustful frenzy.

Edd caught Mike staring at him and smiled, knowing that Mike's ever-increasing blushes were a direct result of _all_ of that. Oh, how he loved to see his friend blushing -  _especially_  since _that_ night.

"Anyway... It was a shame you were in such a hurry to leave that diner - I was going to buy you a drink," China told him. For the sake of the test drive part of the show, they had met up in a local American-themed diner before Edd had presented Mike with the finished car.

The car salesman continued to redden. Gosh, the last time Edd had bought him a _drink_ , everything had spiralled out of control. "A drink? Oh, like... you mean..."

"A _date,_ " Edd thought, but only in his mind, "My God... Is that how Mike _really_ sees me now?"

He _hardly_ thought they would have been sharing a strawberry milkshake with matching striped straws, gazing across the table like two star-crossed lovers - like Sandy and Danny fending off jokes from Kenickie or the Pink Ladies, before jumping onto the dancefloor, hitting the jukebox like the Fonz and dancing a slow waltz together with people clapping all around - it wasn't a bloody _date_ date - _Jesus_. But, regardless, it was clear to see that things really _had_ changed between himself and Mike, at least in Mike's opinion. Edd rather hoped it would be for the _better_. He didn't want to lose a friend and gain a lover; he wanted _both_.

"I used to buy you drinks _all_ of the time," he countered, "When we were mates. I mean, we _are_ mates."

"Before we were... we were... you know," Mike coughed, nervously.

Sensing where this was going, Edd reached forward and turned off the dashcam that they used to film the in-car segments of the show. This was becoming a rather _private_ conversation now. He saw his co-host, who had almost certainly forgotten it was on, breathe a visible sigh of relief as the button was pushed downwards. They didn't want _that_ recording falling into the wrong hands.

"Mmm," he nodded in agreement. "Before _that_." Edd's _other_ reason for switching off the camera was that all of this talk of them and their goings on was making him increasingly more and more excited. They were en-route to California - that was California in _Norfolk_ , would you believe (yes, this was yet another gloriously _pun-esque_ suggestion by the production company) - but the grey-haired mechanic thought there might _just_ be time for a little pit stop along the way.

He began to slow down and, indicating, pulled into a lay-by which was just ideal for the level of _privacy_ they required - in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by long grass. The silver-spoked wheels gradually screeched to a steady halt.

"It doesn't make it any different now," he whispered, one hand gently gripped around Mike's knee.

"Why 'ave we--" he was swiftly cut off by Edd, who had to easily leaned over to the passenger side due to his height, and who had commenced in attacking Mike's neck with an onslaught of needy, insistent kisses.

"Fuck," he gasped, Edd's sideburns and stubble beginning to scratch against his jawline as he nuzzled him, small shaven hairs tickling the delicate flesh there and making him tremble. He enveloped the other man within his embrace, pulling him closer into the cuddle, as he received _kiss_ after _lick_ after _bite_ upon his once pale but now _pink_ skin, sore from the roughness of his partner's affections.

"Why 'ave we stopped?" he finally managed to finish his sentence, though God _only_ knew how.

"Fancied a break," came a grin. "I don't get much time to relax, you know - these days - what with all of the filming. And these seats, they recline all the way back, you know?"

"Coor, like a bed?" Mike could not hide his interest. He shot Edd a look and Edd winked. The pair of them began to laugh. "We've _never_ umm... Not in _bed_ before, if you know what I mean."

"Well, Michael - what can be done about that?"

There was a shy chuckle. "We should 'ave put a bed in the back of that 'splitty' van-- Oooh," he said, interrupted as the chair started to slide backwards from underneath him, a whirring sound present until it clicked to a stop, the seats now practically flat and horizontal.

"Sir, this is a gentleman's car... What would you rather have - these sumptuous leather seats or a mattress laid down in the back of an old van?"

"Ehp," he shushed Edd, " _Old van?_ Cheeky sod." He knew that the tall man was only kidding - China's decision to keep that classic minibus minimal inside was a cost-effective one, maximising profit - and he knew that, being a VW fanatic, Edd had _loved_ the van - but that didn't stop them from yanking each other's chains, even at a time like this, which was a _nice_ thing - they felt so very comfortable in one another's company.

"Shut up, will you," Edd told him, with a smile. And, with that, he began to kiss him - not on the neck this time, but on the lips. A tongue entered Mike's mouth and, despite the cold English weather outside, he was suddenly flushed and filled with a prickly kind of heat, as if he was back in the California sun at the time the car itself had originally been bought.

And, speaking of the car, its suspension was about to take a bruising as Edd clambered over to his side and laid almost fully upon him, so that their bodies were aligned as much as they possibly could be, when one man was nigh-on a foot bigger than the other one. _But,_ there was nothing they could do about _that_ \- after all, Edd was a bloody giant. The Lincoln bounced on its tyres like a rubber ball tossed onto the pavement.

"Mmm, God," Brewer moaned as China's tongue exited. But he would surely only go on to moan _again_ as, for the only reason Edd had stopped kissing him, was that he wished to concentrate on something more _urgent_ ; he went on to unzip the presenter's trousers, revealing an erection that had been trying to bust its way out of the zip since before they had even pulled into the lay-by.

Edd could not help himself from tasting the hard member, if only the once - as the angle at which he had to crane his neck was rather awkward - and so he briefly licked the head, like a lollipop he wanted to savour, producing a reaction from Mike that he would savour even more.

He pulled back. "I don't think you've said sorry yet, have you?" he asked, gripping the throbbing arousal with his hand and starting to pump it. It was difficult to do with his left hand though he did manage to maintain a decent pace - he was practised to a certain extent, in the respect that fitting most car parts required one to somewhat ambidextrous. Mike seemed to be enjoying his efforts, regardless.

"Uhh... 'aven't I?" he mewled.

"No, you _haven't_ ," Edd hissed, emphasising his point by grasping the shaft of his dick harder as he slid his grip up and down. He made the motion several times over, before nearly a minute was to pass.

"Oh God I'm sorry, Edd," Mike then began to cry, reaching ever-closer to his climax. "I'm sorry... So sorry for having a go at you, mate," he repeated his apology over and over, before dragging China forward towards him and into another thirsty kiss - open-mouthed, quick and dirty - leaving lips wet with saliva.

"You can do _anything_ you want... to the cars," he said, choking out a string of mangled words, distorted and desperate. "You can do _anything_ you want... _to me_ ... Oh, _Edd!_ Oh, fucking 'ell!" he moaned, finally reaching the end of his rope. The mechanic had undone him by a few strokes later, Mike's cock spewing come all over his fingers and over his own boxers near the entrance to his fly.

Edd sucked his fingers as clean as he could, under the circumstances, and smirked at his friend and colleague, "That was quite an apology I managed to force out of you in the end."

"Edward..." Mike groaned, still dazed as all hell. He felt so spent that he could hardly move out of his seat, which was just as well, as he didn't _have_ to for a short while. For a second, he felt _immobile_ , paralysed or stationary, like a boat in dry dock or, more appropriately for him, a car without wheels which was propped up on jacks. Not before long though, he managed to sit up. And he reached over to his favourite mechanic for a quick hug to show his gratitude.

He squeezed him as tightly as he could and mouthed many 'thank you's' into his ear, but nothing could truly express how he felt - he'd been in heaven and he wasn't _altogether_ surprised to find that heaven felt something like a Lincoln Continental, of all cars; heaven was _always_ going to be a _luxury_ vehicle, but maybe he thought it might have been a _Cadillac_ instead. As _if_ he could complain about any of this - it was perfect.

Slumped back into the folds of the wrinkled cream leather, Mike turned to Edd. "Do you know what I _don't_ get..." he said, still breathless.

"Hmm?" Edd smiled at him adoringly, lying back with his hands behind his head.

"Why does everything 'ave to be _orange_ for you?" he said, laughing.

"Because it does!" came the retort, with Edd still smiling.

So _what_ if Edd loved orange? It was a colour he associated with the _best_ things in life and some of the best times he'd _ever_ had - sensational sunsets, VW camper vans and the orange gloves he wore whilst working on all of those fantastic cars of theirs to name a few reasons - and, hey, he looked at himself today on one of the best times he'd had of late and, lo and behold, what colour was the Hawaiian shirt he was wearing? _Orange._ See - the theory had some merit. And so he couldn't resist - "Why don't you help this place become a little _less_ orange, if you know what I mean," he undid the top two buttons on his shirt and guided Mike's hands to undo the rest.

Brewer poked his tongue out in concentration as he completed the task - something which China found unbearably sweet. "I hope you trust me more, now?" the younger man asked, referring to his ability to correctly choose a suitable colour for the Lincoln.

"Yeah... I believe your 'ands are _more_ than capable _now_ , Edd," he grinned.


End file.
